Retail Hell The Book

Mannequin Halloween Party

The coolest Halloween Manni ever! In the eyeball head is an actual monitor playing a moving eye. Yes, it's freaky as shit!

These mannequins are from a store called Weho on Santa Monica Blvd in West Hollywood, CA.

 

 

Padded rooms are fun!

 

 

Somewhere a shopping cart is sporting wood...err..or metal...

  

   

Why you should never date robot mannequins.

 

 

Cousin It goes mental.

Shopping Cart Ghost

BOO! Happy Halloween Everybody!

Retail Hell Haggy Bitch Scare

From Sisu on Retail Hell Underground:

I think once I'm done with retail, I'll be an anthropologist. It's not like I'll notice the lack of pay and dealing with shitty conditions.

I have to share this story about a brain dead bitch of a customer.

She started out a sweet yet somewhat high strung old lady.

That should have been a warning sign.

Well, she needed a coaxial cable. Not a problem, we have about a million, so I showed her our stock and helped her pick one out. Then she needed a connector. We have two types, the feed-thru and the twist on.

She picks up the twist on type and starts to walk away. I figure she's done and out of my hair when she stops me. WHY?

"I need the kind of connector where you thread it through."

 

I held up the feed-thru connector. "That would be the feed-thru kind."

 

"NO! THAT IS NOT IT!" she yelled at me. "It has to connect the coax cables."

 

"That's the point of this CONNECTOR," I told her.

 

"No, no, you aren't listening to me! It has to feed thru it and connect it. GOD, why can't you get it right?"

 

WTF?

 

"Ma'am, this is a FEED-THRU CONNECTOR. You FEED it THROUGH to CONNECT coaxial cables. This is what you are looking for!" I said, trying very hard to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.

 

She rolled her eyes at me. "Fuck you, you don't just don't know what I'm talking about. Isn't there anyone who knows anything?"

 

I rolled my eyes back at her. "Ma'am, this is exactly what you need based on what you are telling me. If you can't explain it to me, I cannot help you."

 

She walked away muttering about me "just not getting it".

 

-sisu

Marc Jacobs Halloween Mannequins

Masked day-glow mannequins and bull mannequins in sheets. I'm scared.

Marc Jacobs store in West Hollywood, CA.

Halt! Ghostly bull crossing.

What Really Scares Retail Slaves on Halloween

The Piggy Shopper Hell Spawn mess!!!

 

 

 

But what makes a Retail Slave SCREAM...is...after cleaning this mess up...they turn around and face this...CLICK HERE

Piggy Shopper Fright

This Piggy Shopper decimation was sent into Retail Hell Underground by Susan. It's an encounter we can all relate to:

Dear Retail Hell Underground

I have to vent.  Enjoy the story.  

I have just had a customer – mother with toddler – come in and sit down on the seat to have his feet measured. 

As she waits for me to get my measuring guide, she proceeds to dust herself off of thousands of crumbs, onto our floor. 

Both her and the child are absolutely covered. 

She apologized and said ‘We’ve just had a scone’ (it was more an explanation than an apology though). 

Would you not shake yourself clean in the carpark? (we are not in a mall, the cars are parked right outside). 

There was an actual inch square chunk of scone along with small and medium sized crumbs all over our floor. 

I had to go and get the brush and shovel before her child could try anything on as it would have been mashed in and tracked everywhere. 

At least she bought the damn shoes I tried on him, and she didn’t hang around. 

That is a small mercy. 

I was swearing so much at her out the back I was afraid she might have heard me (my colleague said you couldn’t hear me out the front, phew.  I was really letting her have it). 

Unbelievable. 

I just can't think how this could ever be considered an acceptable way to behave, but then I'm just a civilized human being, what would I know.  

I always get someone like this just after my day off when I’m all zen just to bring me back to the reality of being a shopgirl.  

Keep up the good work at Retail Hell Underground!  

Susan

Retail Death Webcomic: On Hell

Excerpt from Retail Death: I’m not a religious man by any means, and don’t necessarily believe in a magical land of eternal torment that traditional Judeo-Christian theology calls “Hell.”  I do, of course, believe in torture, darkness, and evil; I work in retail.  If indeed the religious folk are right, and upon our deaths we are all judged and sentenced to forever in the clouds or in the fire, certain allowances will be made.  If there is a devil, a legion of imps and hellspawn behind him at the ready with medieval torture devices, champing at the bit to get at the immortal souls of the damned, any who served as a retail wage slave in life simply could not be terrified by their evil.  No demonic thaumaturgy can frighten us.  We have already seen far too much....to read the rest of the post CLICK HERE

Jit Faces Off with a Discount Rat from Hell

This one will scare the Retail Hell out of you. It's from RHU Blogger Jit,

I. Am seriously. Going. To kill someone.

Before this retail season's over.

And guess what? IT HASN'T EVEN STARTED YET!!!

A couple days ago, I was ringing up this lady with a huge order. She had about eighty things.

At the end of her order, she had picture frames that were on clearance apparently ringing up for more than the additional percent off. The conversation is as follows.

"Wait a second, those are supposed to be an additional 30% off."

"...but they're already 70% off."

"No, no, there was a sign that said that these were an additional 30% off."

"...So they're an additional 30% off of the 70% off."

"Right."

"I don't think so."

She then proceeds to chew me out about not being "courteous and subservient" and all that bull.

What the fuck ever.

So being a good little retail droid, I call back and ask politely over the phone what the woman wants me to ask. The person on the other line is getting a kick out of this. She's standing 20 feet away and we're making eye contact, laughing silently.

Then the lady holds up the line of four people waiting for me to finish ringing her up to show the woman the "signs she saw which clearly stated that there is an additional 30% off."

Okay.

So now I'm waiting for this idiot to come back with four pairs of angry eyes on my throat.

This is a good situation to be in, please note.

-Drips with sarcasm-

Anyway. Then the customer and the employee come back. The employee tells me that the price it's ringing up at is correct. She walks away. I ask the woman if she wants the picture frame.

"Yeah, for the additional 30% off."

"I am not authorized to do so. Do you want it for -insert price here- or do you want me to put it back?"

"I want it for the additional 30% off."

"I'm sorry, ma'am, bu that's not an option."

"I'LL TELL YOU WHAT MY GODDAMN OPTIONS ARE!"

"You might not want to damn God."

"Don't get smart with me!"

"Did you want the picture frame?"

"YES! FOR THE FUCKING ADDITIONAL 30% OFF THAT IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE FOR!"
 
At this point, a manager from a different department walks over and tells the customer, without even attempting to understand the situation, to leave without her stuff or to pay for her remaining things and leave. 
 
So what does she do? She pays for her things... and leaves them at the store.
 
They still have not been retrieved. It was over $300 worth of merchandise. Oh, well.
 
Jit

Retail Slaves Gagging Before Halloween

"It's Obvious You've Never Worked in Retail When..."

 

Random Person: Oh! Look The Chritsmas Trees are up! Isn't that Exciting!?"

Me: *mental gag* "Uh, yeah I guess..."

RP: "Don't you just love the holidays?!?!"

Me: "No, not really."

RP: *agast* "What!?! How can you not love the holidays!?!"

Me: "I work in retail."

RP: ...*glazed look* "What does that mean?"

Me: "I don't like the holidays cause I work in retail."

RP: "...but...I don't get it..."

Me: *blink-blink* "You've never worked in retail before have you?"

RP: "No, Why?"

Me: 'nuff said *walks away*

 

Halloween Customer Reject

Not going to be year of the witch.