Retail Hell The Book

Management Rewards Nasty Ass Thief: Thank You For Stealing, Here's Your Refund

From Retail Hell Underground:

Hello all, after reading Angie’s story from furniture hell

I thought I’d share this story with you, as it left me wondering what it’d be like to work for a company who’d back us up when we enforce the refund policies they put in place.

A bit about me and my store, I work for a U.K based women’s budget clothing store, whose target market is the over 45’s. As for me, you can call me Nibbler.

I’ve been with the company for nearly two years now, having started on a 4 hour xmas temp contract, now I’m being trained to be a key holder. It’s a great place to work and my team are lovely, apart from our assistant manager, but that’s a rant for another day.

A couple of weeks ago, a custy came into the shop wanting a refund on a coat that still had the security ink tag on it, but no barcode tags. This coat was so new, we’d only received our stock of it on delivery the previous day, and put it on the shop floor that morning. Everything about it seemed suspicious and our first thought was “possible shoplifter”.

Our refund policy states: “Exchange/refunds are offered if items are returned within 28 days in their original condition, with all tags attached and with proof of purchase.  If a receipt is not available but tags are attached, we may offer a credit note/gift voucher to the current selling price, however this will be reviewed on an individual basis.”

So, I asked for her receipt. She didn’t have one. I asked if she used her club card so we could track the purchase down on Head Office’s computer system. She didn’t use her card that day, despite it being one of our 20% off club card days.

I asked her what branch she’d brought it in. She didn’t know. I then told her that under our returns policy, we couldn’t do anymore to help her.

After a few minutes of her ranting and raving at us, she demanded to speak to customer services, so I give them a call from the back office and explain the situation, and told that we thought she was a shoplifter.

Did that matter?

No. I was told to exchange it for a gift voucher.

That’s right folks, I had to reward a suspected NAT with store credit. The smugness of that woman while I was putting that exchange through was suffocating.  

It’s infuriating to me that we put so much effort into our stock loss procedures, but if we suspect that a customer is trying to return something that’s stolen, there’s no support from head office.

Why bother having refund policies if head office isn’t going to follow them?

*sigh*  

Keep your heads up, fellow slaves,

--Nibbler x

 

Discount Rat Encounter: Crazy Mullet Man Wants His Display TV

From Ted the 'Flayer on Retail Hell Underground:

I had an amusing encounter the other day that I would like to share.  It involves one of the town cranks, which we will call Mullet Man, or MM for short.

Well, Mullet Man likes to tell stories.  According to him, he's the assistant to the regional manager, he's a member of MS13, and all sorts of fanciful tales.  This time, he's dying of some form of Cancer.  Anyway, he bought a TV the other day, and he didn't like it.  According to him, I had taken the TV out of the box and put a different one back in to trick him (which of course is preposterous).  He spoke with the shift manager, and she offered to sell the display to him as long as he showed up during a specific time (i.e., not her usual lunch).  Anyway, her usual lunch time is here, and MM shows up.

MM:  "I'm here to buy that display TV."

Ted:  "Okay sir, let me get with Manager to verify and I'll be right back!"

MM:  "SHE SAID TO SELL IT TO ME!  YOU WERE THERE WHEN SHE SAID IT!"

Ted:  "I still have to get her permission to get the TV off the wall regardless of what she said yesterday, I'll be right back."

Manager is not to be found (she was taking her lunch late to help in another department, but I had no idea of that, I just knew it was her usual lunch time.)

Ted:  "I'm sorry, you caught her at lunch, she's not in.  Would you like m-"

(I was going to offer to find another manager but he cut me off mid-sentence)

MM:  "Alright, I'm going to tell you this:  Home Office, who WE BOTH WORK FOR, said I could have this TV off the wall!" (note:  the Regional Manager has no assistant, he made that up)  "Now, I have blood cancer and the doctor says I need to stay off my feet, do you mean I need to STAND HERE AND DIE while your manager has lunch!?"

(I stifle the urge to say "please do!")

Ted:  "Well sir, would you like a scooter to sit on while you wait?"

MM:  "DID I FUCKING ASK YOU FOR A SCOOTER!"

Ted:  "No, but you said you need to get off your feet, so I'm offering excellent customer service and offering you a seat!?  (with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.  I even smiled, which I never do.  Needless to say, after being told to not take any shit from this guy by management I was confident that I could get away with being passive-aggressive.)

Mullet man storms off.  I shout at him:

Ted:  "Have an excellent day!"

MM:  "GO TO HELL!"

Eventually, he did go get the TV (his nonexistent blood cancer flared up because of me and he had to go to the emergency room), but I got reassured by management that everyone there knew of his shenanigans, and that corporate would abide by local management in this case.  As far as retail goes, this store isn't as bad as a lot I've worked at really.

--Ted The Flayer

 

Sale Hell: Whiny Discount Rat Encounter

From Retail Hell Underground:

T-Shirt Sponge here with another tale of custy ignorance.

But first, here's the good news.

For those of us used to hellspawn, and worse than hellspawn, THEIR HORRIBLE PARENTS, there is hope. I saw a wonderful mother the other day, come to my register, tell her small child calmly to choose between his snack and his toy, explain to him that they didn't have time to go to the park that day and ask him if that was ok, and he nodded......it was just sweet. He was well behaved, and she was not crazy. It was a good sight. Gave me back some faith in humanity.

Which was, of course, then immediately ripped from me, thrown on the dirty floor, and stamped into little bitty pieces. And then shit on.

Honorable mention goes to the woman who brought me two seperate shirts, in seperate sizes, from clearance, and slapped them on the counter in front of me.

Note that this particular shirt is a thin material and has another thin tank top sewn inside it with a few simple loops.

Honorable Mention (HM): This shirt is the one I want but the inside shirt is missing, someone ripped it out. Can you give me the inside piece from this other shirt?

Me: Well ma'am, the inside piece is sewn in.

HM: I know.

Me: Well, I could give you a damage discount on the one with the missing piece, but I can't damage another shirt.

HM: *HUFF* Well fine, I don't want either of them then.

Oookkkaayyy then.....

Grand prize, however, goes to this one-track-minded crazy who, I swear to all that is holy, must have been carried to the store, because I have racked my brain and I can't fathom how she made it there herself. You figure if someone can get up, dress themselves, and drive to our store, they must have some capacity for intelligence, but for some reason they get to the register and everything shuts down. It's a wonder they don't just void their bowels right there.

We'll call her Price Whore.

PW: *being fairly pleasant* Oh by the way, I have like 5 of these shirts, they were like buy 2 or more, they're $5 each.

Me: Ok, no problem. (There's totally a problem. Right away I can tell that she's wrong because the type of shirt she has is expensive and made with another company, therefore never on sale).

Me: *as I ring it up* Ok ma'am these shirts are actually not coming up on sale, what I think has happened is that our graphic tees are on sale, but these are made by someone else, so the sale excludes them, it says it on the sign.

PW: *here comes the gem* But they were all on the same table.

Me: *stare* Right, but often times we put multiple items on the same table but the sign indicates which of those items are on sale, sometimes its just one.

PW: Ok, but I'm saying that they were all on the same table.

So I had a manager check. Turns out it was two tables pushed together, one with these $11 shirts she wanted, and one with a sign for $5 mix and match tanks, tshirts, and shorts. So I explained this to here.

PW: Alright, but they were ON THE SAME TABLE. So they should be $5.

Me: *FUCKING HEADDESK*

This went on for a couple minutes and finally I had to call the same manager up who explained it the same way I did, got the same answer, rolled her eyes and went "Just change the price."

So she got the price she wanted. Because why not? She was only very clearly wrong. And SIGNS BE DAMNED, IF EVERYTHING IS ON THE SAME TABLE, ALL THOSE ITEMS ARE EXACTLY THE SAME PRICE.

Ladies and gentlemen, logic.

On an unrelated note, I was wondering if anyone has to work the drivethru at Boston Market. I was going through today and was thinking about how much people I know hate it when a customer goes through the drivethru and then goes "Can I get a minute?" then takes a fuckin million and a half years to order. But I realized that while most fast food menus are kind of simple, Boston Market's really isn't, they have a lot of choices. People must take like 2 million years right? That was my philosophizing for the day.

Much love,

--T-Shirt Sponge

Dumbass Discount Rat Encounter

From Retail Hell Underground by Caper:

I have a story about a custy and I'm not sure if she was just entitled, stupid, or both.

*set scene* It's a week before Christmas at a certain hbc dept. store, it's incredibly busy and my coworker is taking her 30 break.

This woman comes up to me with 2 pieces of luggage - a small carry on size, and a large suitcase. She informs me that they're 50% off (as if I didn't already know..)

So I just say 'ok' and start the transaction. So the first piece of luggage was Reg. $70 on for $35, which was fine. The larger piece of luggage was $180 on for $90 .. not okay. At all.

She starts with the "That's 50% off you know"

Me: "Yeah, half of 180 is 90..."

Her: "But another lady got a suitcase for $37 .. I want it for $37"

Me: "Was it the same suitcase ? Maybe there was a pricing error.."

Her: "Well, it was a different brand, but the same size."

*headdesk*. Me: "Well, a different brand IS going to be a different price, regardless of size."

Me saying that goes in one ear and out the other and she informs me that she's going to grab the suitcase the other lady bought and show me. She does. The suitcase the lady bought was Air Canada, which is less expensive than London Fog, which is what she was attempting to buy.

I tried explaining this, but it was a no go. She was demanding a $180 suitcase for $37. At the end of it, I even took out a calculator (which was completely unnecessary because any moron can figure out half of something) and did the math in front of her.

She still didn't understand why she couldn't have it for $37. At this point I wanted to jump the counter and attack her.

Instead, I sent her to customer service to deal with it, since I was done. I had other customers to help.

Grr.

--Caper

Call Center Hell: New Year, More Guilt

From Atombomb1945 on Retail Hell Underground:

Hey all,

My wife this year gave me the best present that I think anyone in retail or custy service could receive; resignation.  I put my two weeks in and I am going back to school starting Wednesday.  

I am so happy, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have my share of stories to share.  I just feel a little safer letting them out now.

Props out to TechChewToy for bringing up the customer who would just up and die if she didn’t get her food in the Theater.  While being chained to a phone nine plus hours a day kept me from having anything thrown at me, I have had over my fair share of guilt trips and I thought I would share a few of the better with you.

For the last four years I have been with three different companies chained to a phone.  All three jobs were technical support, and this last one was for a Satellite TV company. They pride themselves on being the company that offers all of the major sports games if you are willing to shell out the major bucks each month to watch them.  And we all know what happens when customers spend a lot of money with a company, they think that they are entitled to getting more for less.

The first, and probably the best, was a woman calling in with a problem on her TV’s. I give my opening speech: “Thank you for calling Satellite TV, home of NFL Sunday Football, how can I help you today?”

While I do this, and then listen to this woman moan and nep about her service not being on and how much money she pays for her TV each month I do a quick scan of the account. 

My eyes go straight to the top where her current amount due is, and there in big red numbers I her Past Due amount which is about $144 bucks or about two months past.

So after she finishes and has to take a breath, I tell her that the reason she is getting the message that her channels are not purchased is because she hasn’t made a payment in two months, and that if she wants her TV back on she would have to pay the amount due. 

Yup, wrong thing to say.  “Well I can’t afford to pay that! I have bills to pay. I have four kids! You have to turn the TV back on because I have kids and I want to watch my TV!” 

I simply confirm that she does have to pay, yet what I really wanted to say was Lady, if you have all these bills to pay, go get a job and quite yelping at me because your TV is out.

I explain quietly and politely that she would have to pay and that she wouldn’t get her TV service back until it was paid, and I am not the phone tech who will back down on a customer, ever!

So she breaks out the guilt trip. “Well if I pay this, you will be taking the food out of my kids mouths. SO I GUESS YOU WILL MAKE MY CHILDREN STARVE JUST SO I CAN GET MY TV BACK ON!”  

Really lady? You would watch your soaps and starve your kids? 

There are more, but I have gone on long enough tonight. But I will send off more now that I am off the phones, and don’t feel sick when I look at a computer.

--Atombomb1945

 

Discount Rat TV Show: Extreme Couponing

A new show encourages Discount Rats to dig in the dumpsters for coupons...maybe it should be called "How To Be a Food Hoarder" This woman's pantry was in her garage and it looked like a supermarket!

Click the pick to go to ET and watch video.

 

Holiday Custys Putting On Their Ass Pants

From Chatty Cathy on Retail Hell Underground: 

Bitchy custys from Hell!

I want to say right now, I love my job. Most of the customers are very friendly, knowledgeable, and generally not ridiculous. However as the season wears on, more and more individuals seem to be putting on their crazy pants before going shopping for the holidays.

I actually have three stories... just from one day!

1. Make up your damned mind, PLEASE.

Two ladies come up to the register. One's buying some home appliance and one is buying a single shirt that costs maybe $15.

The appliance lady goes first and starts handing me coupons- in HER own order. Not the order the register wants them. She gives me a merchandise credit, which registers as payment, and then her 15% off coupon and store cash coupon, which must be applied before payment begins.

I explain this to her and void the sale, then go to do it again.

This time I get her rung up and she gives me all the coupons EXCEPT her 15% discount which she keeps clutched close to her chest as if she'd die without it. As a result I forget it. It's my fault, yadda yadda, I void it again and re-ring.

Now, we get to the point where we're adding coupons and I've got them all sorted- then the other lady says "WAIT WAIT. I just have one shirt, so can I add it to this order?"

Unlike a grocery store, our registers don't allow us to scan coupons, then items, then coupons again. I explain and she says "Well.. I want her coupons, so add my stuff."

I void the order AGAIN and re ring them AGAIN.

This time everything goes great, except that AFTER the custy duo has paid and I am already getting them their change, they go "WAIT WAIT WAIT- I ALSO HAVE 87 CENTS HANG ON" and I inform them that no, they cannot give me additional change just for the sake of getting a whole dollar back at this point because I have already told the register what they gave me and it would make my drawer be off.

She says "No, it wouldn't. It doesn't know how many 5's, 10's, and so on you have" and while she's probably right on that fact, I still say "Sorry, but I can't do it. I told the computer how much you gave me. If we change it after the fact the computer will say I should have a total that I don't, and I could get in trouble."

I give her her change and she huffs at me "I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW THESE THINGS -WORK-!" and she runs off.

Honestly I could be wrong and I just don't care. I wanted them gone. Like fuck was I doing math on the fly after they already had spent nearly 15 minutes shitting up my register.

2. Lying Custys!

Our store focuses a lot on customer service. We're told to do whatever we can to keep people satisfied, so a lot of the time if someone claims that something should be a certain price, even if they're wrong, we have to give it to them anyways. People know this. People use it.

Two middle aged women come to my register.

They want separate orders, one's buying Keurig accessories and one's buying the actual coffee maker itself. I try to ring up the accessories gal first since she set her stuff down first and the items were smaller.

I ring it up and immediately she halts me and says "HEY! That's the wrong price. It should be $14.99 not $24.99."

I offer to have someone go check for her. She gets a bit fidgety and says "Well.. well... Why don't I just go get the sign for you?"

"No ma'am, We have people back there that can check the price, I just have to call them up."

I call, and we're waiting. It takes a while but I get a call back, the worker is foreign and it takes some explaining, which makes the custy's frustrated, but it gets done.

We wait, and wait... I get another call, she explains she was busy with a customer and just now is getting back to check. I say alright and pass this to the customers.

Suddenly the older of the pair, the one wanting to buy the thing in the first place, RUNS off. She apparently is sick of waiting and despite me telling her NO has gone to get the sign.

She comes back and WAVES it at me, covering half the sign.

All I say, very tiredly, is "Ma'am... How is the associate supposed to check the price if you've taken the sign up here?" and she shoots back "Well.. well there was only one of them there! One of them! She'd never have found it!" and she runs off again to put the sign back.

My coworker calls back and very exhaustedly says "I'm sorry, I can't find it. Please just give them the price they're asking for."

I tell her the reason she couldn't find it, and she sighs. We thank each other and hang up.

By this time, sign stealer is still off dicking with store signage and probably creating more trouble for us later on, so the other person just says "You know what, ring all my stuff up as well and I'll just pay for it. Besides- you saw the sign. It said $14.99. Right? You saw it."

I'm thinking to myself "Yeah, a $14.99 sign she could've grabbed for ANY item" but somehow I'm relieved, since one order means LESS TIME with this pair of thieving witches.

I ring it up and it gets paid for. Sign stealer comes back and seems absolutely giddy that I gave them what they wanted and extremely pleased, TOO pleased about the discount.

Fast forward to when I got home and actually saw our daily ad (that they don't leave out for us of course) I see the shit she was buying is on sale for TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS.

All I said when I saw it was "Those lying BITCHES!" and then I had to explain the whole thing to my family.

Come on, people... they wasted 20 minutes of my time for ten dollars. I guess it matters, I mean I don't even make ten dollars in an hour, but they lied and got what they wanted- it's just teaching entitled custy's that they can do as they please and rip the store off left and right.

3. Stinky NATs!

Scruffy looking woman comes up to the counter. By scruffy I mean... well, maybe she hadn't bathed in a while. And by a while I mean a few weeks.

She's buying some shits, curiously all clearanced or on sale but still with security tags. The sizes seem arbitrary and she says they aren't gifts.

I mentally say "whatever" and just ring it up and do my job. She pays and leaves but beeps on the way out. Another cashier runs to check her bag, and I go up to her after the custy was cleared (and ran out the door) and say "I took a security tag off of every shirt she bought- what beeped?"

"Oh, I looked.. I didnt see tags, it must've been the perfume."

"...She didn't buy any perfume."

By this time she was long gone so of course it was too late to call loss protection but fuck I wonder how she did it.

She must have smuggled it on her person and put it in the bag after she left the counter, because if she'd put it on the counter the security device would've been deactivated.

I also wonder why that cashier didn't check her receipt since she would've clearly seen that the lady didn't pay for perfume.

Thinking of it, she had a hoodie on and probably stashed the stuff in the pockets before coming up to the registers then transferred it to the bag. I half wonder how much she made off with, since perfume can be damned expensive.

At least she'll have something to cover up her stench.

--Chatty Cathy

 

Hell's Last Customer of the Day

From fires of Retail Hell Underground:

Hey all,

This is UnEarthed at B-Cubed.

The rant I'm going to share with you today, I imagine, is universal to all businesses, whether it is a restaurant, hotel, or a retail establishment.

I'm talking about the very Last Customer of the Day... (thunder and lightning)

Most of my shifts are closing shifts so I've had time to observe the behaviors of many LCoDs. I should probably mention that I'm an anthropology major and this stuff comes naturally to me.

Most of the time, last custys are all right by me. They acknowledge that they know the store'll be closing in a few minutes and want to hurry out of our way; I <3 those custys. It's even better when the last custy splits 10 minutes before closing and I have those last minutes to clean up around the Customer Service desk.

Unfortunately, that is NOT what happened last night.

Last night, Murphy's Law slammed the store big time. Not only did 1 floor associate call out, but so did the other cashier I was to be working with that night.

And THEN the newbie whose shift ended at 5pm got a call from the hospital that informed her that her son was in the hospital and that she would have to come get him.

So she left around 3:30pm, leaving me mostly on my own to wrangle SATURDAY afternoon crowds 'til 9pm!

I was only supposed to work 'til 8pm, so by 9pm I was freaking ready to leave that hell hole.

But I couldn't.

Because there was one lone custy loose in the store.

And this wasn't just any custy, no, sir! This was a special breed of custy:the Fearful Coupon Clutcher, a subspecies of the Clearance Competitor that I have come to despise.

B-Cubed is famous for sending out 20% Off coupons that you can use for any item in the store and we also have coupons that offer $5 off any purchase $15 or more. We're relaxed about coupons: we can take as many coupons as custys have items (ex. 20 coupons for 20 items, theoretically). I have to explain this to countless custys multiple times a day.

Back to the fearful, Coupon Clutcher standing before me, thick manila envelope held tightly, her suspicious, beady eyes gazing on me with distrust.  It's 8:58pm and I can tell that this encounter is NOT going to be quick. The Coupon Clutcher pushes her cart up to the counter; it is loaded with bed sheets and Channukah decorations.

I beckon her to start putting items on the counter, but she doesn't and instead empties out the huge envelope: loads of 20% off coupons spill out.

She says, in a near whisper, "I want to use some coupons."

"Ok, I can scan them all in at the very end, just so things won't get messy."

She eyes me. "But how do I know they'll apply to the items I want them to?"

I run through the schpeil of how the 20% off coupons will apply in order of the most expensive to least and that the $5 off ones I can only apply to items totalling $15 or more. (Sometimes I have dreams where I wake myself up reciting this!)

She then goes on to slowly place her items on the counter for me to scan them, placing a coupon on each item, as though I'll vindictively ignore her coupons. 

So when I place her coupons to the side and begin to explain how much simpler it is to just scan the coupons in at the end, her eyes bulge. "Are you sure that will work?"

"No, Ma'am," I think to myself. "I've *only* been working here for 10 months and have absolutely NO idea how our magical coupon system operates."

She watches me scan the rest of her items and counts the coupons as I scan them. "And they all applied like you said they would?"

I oggle my register clock that indicates it is 9:15pm and sigh. "Yes, ma'am. You're all set."

I take a few minutes to collect myself then try to do all of my closing duties in a mere 40 minutes.

***

Does anyone else have last customer horror stories?

They's probably make me feel better.

Ta for now,

--UnEarthed

Manager Hell At Smosh Mess For Less

RHU Blogger Wolfycat was subjected to horrible working conditions with two managers and several Nasty Ass Thief Bitches. This is her rant from Retail Hell Underground:

Hey RHU! Wolfycat again.

It has been really hectic at Smosh Mess for Less.

I think our planet really is overpopulating, because for the past month I have been forced to park near the back of the parking lot. Like, I need to be there at least 5 minutes early just to make it to the door! And since school started up, I've been doing the closing shifts. Yay me...

Lately I've been having problems with two of the new managers.

There's two other ones that have been here since the beginning, but these guys are just horrible. The guy transferred in about a month ago. He's probably about mid 30's or so, and he treats me like a little kid. I'll call him Bob. The other one, a woman, came in a little before Bob. I'll call her Barb.

It all started when I got called up to help custys at the watch tower.

I asked girl at the front registers to pass me the key, but she couldn't find it so I went around to look for it so she could keep ringing up.

As I went to open the little gate thing to get where the registers were, some strange lady reaches over and holds the gate shut.

I had never met Barb before, and she was just wearing non-Smosh acceptable clothes, so I said "Can I help you?"

She didn't answer my question and said "Who are you? What are you doing?"

I was confused at this point and was like "I work here."

I tried to push on the gate, but she still held it shut. By this point, a now-former manager came up and introduced us to each other. She was still blocking my way and giving me this glare.

I then said "It's nice to meet you. 'Scuse me, I gotta find the watch tower key."

When I work fitting rooms, she likes stopping by to sift through the rack where the holds are and confiscate random holds.

If she sees a name on the hold ticket that is the same name of an employee, she'll put it back on the floor. And then she'll yell at me saying it's against policy for employees to put stuff on hold and threaten to write me up if it keeps happening.

Well, don't yell at me because 2,394,849,398 people in the world decided to name their kids Ashley, John, Bella, Edward, Renesmee, WHATEVER!!

And employees stash their holds either under the rack behind the clothes or behind the hanger cart. We don't label our shit! :-P

She wrote me up for not smiling enough. I should have said I just got botox.

And don't get me started when she's the closing manager. She once made me pick up every single bit of lingerie off the floor and hang it up.

And then I had to go through and sort out the bras by size. She yelled that all the bras weren't sorted right before I could even start sorting them. That night, the Starbucks peeps got out before us.

Now on to Bob.

The day he started, they had put me on register. He introduced himself and then squeezed the shit out of my hand in what he called a handshake.

Supervisor wasn't in yet so he told me to act as "honorary supervisor" and then disappeared. Later on when someone asked for a manager, he wouldn't answer any of the pages at all.

Once Bob had me up front before closing to help my supervisor check out any stragglers. There wasn't anyone left in the store, LP had already locked the doors, and I had already finished my tasks up front, so supervisor sent me to help fitting rooms.

I was halfway there when Bob stepped in my path and said "Where are you going?" all pissed off sounding.

I told him I was helping fitting room and he was like "No you're not. I know you're not done up there!" He wouldn't let me pass him and made me go back up front.

These two ladies came in for returns. One had clothes from Marshall's and the other had sweatpants that we didn't carry. They wouldn't understand that they both came to the wrong store for returns. I paged Bob after I tried explaining five times, and while I was waiting, I kept trying to explain.

Me: "THESE. CLOTHES. HAVE. A. MARSHALLS. TAG... YES?"

Lady #1: "Uh...I guess."

Me: "THIS. IS. SMOSH. MESS. FOR. LESS. NOT. MARSHALLS."

Lady #1: "So...does that mean I get a refund?"

Five minutes later...

Me: *gives up and turns to lady #2* Ma'am...those sweatpants are from Wal-mart.

Lady #2: NO THEY AIN'T I BOUGHT 'EM HERE WITH MY MONEY!

Me: *sigh* Do you have your receipt?

Lady #2: No.

Still no sign of Bob. The girl next to me is trying to work full speed. I call every backup cashier to the front and they slowly trickle to the front. I ask if they've seen Bob. Nope. I call the office. No answer. I page over the intercom again. I call the stockroom. The only one that picks up is a guy that doesn't speak English.

Me: Donde esta Bob?

Dude: No se.

By then I'm pretty much really on the verge of tears. The ladies insist that they're not leaving without their money back.

I get fed up and offer to help the next person in line but the ladies are like "No! You're supposed to be helping us!"

Everyone else starts to steer clear of my line.

Then Lady #2 is like "I don't think you even called your manager. You're stalling because you're scared of getting in trouble!"

"You've seen and heard me call over the intercom," I snap at her.

Then I see Bob heading up from the back room.

"I had to take a call," he says. "What's the problem?"

The ladies tell him I've been rude and won't take their returns. I say they both have the wrong store.

He then berates me in front of them for having an attitude. By this time I have tears streaming down my face and I'm having a hard time trying not to sob/punch all three of them in the face.

Bob ends up being the one to deal with them and tells me to go get my act together in the break room.

LP and supervisor were taking a lunch in there and freaked out when they saw me.

Sooo embarrassing -.- But they convinced me to not quit.

I was so on the verge of doing so. When I finally got home, I had two glasses of Jim Beam and Coke and then fell asleep on the couch.

--Wolfycat

 

Rules For Being A Good Shoe Custy

Wingtip Workhorse here and, yes, I am a shoe salesperson.

A few of us after many hellish customers decided to create a guide to getting the best service from a shoe representative.

If you want shitty service from us, please ignore all of these. If, however, you are looking to better your shopping experience... listen closely.

1. Wash your feet.

As shoe sales people we have to touch your feet. If you don't like to touch your own crusty, sweaty stinky feet, what makes you think we want to? If you have any doubt as to the acceptability of your foot hygiene, please, spend $15 on a pedicure and save us all a lot of money on trauma therapy.

2. If you have FOUS (Feet of unusual size... yes that was a Princess Bride reference) we probably don't have a shoe for you.

We are a chain department store, not a specialty store. We carry AVERAGE sizes. If you have freakish elf feet or giant Sasquatch feet we probably don't have your size. Please visit Elves R Us or Yetis Incorporated.

3. Please don't mess with the displays.

We do not carry magical display shoes that instantly change to your size because you were too lazy to ask us to help you. They are, typically, the smallest size we have in stock. Please don't try to cram your size 9 foot into the size 6 display. You will only stretch out the shoe and make it very difficult for the true size 6 customer because you "done messed up their shoe."

Save us all some time and troubles by asking us. That's what we are here for.

4. Just because you choose to spend hundreds of dollars with us does not mean you get something free.

If we have a free gift, we'll tell you. Otherwise, what you bought is all you are getting from us. Just because you have a shoe obsession does not mean that we are going to reward you for it.

5. If you want it, buy it.

Please don't yell at us if you have a size 6 or size 14 foot and we don't have any more 70% off shoes in your size.

If you wanted it that badly, you should have bought it at full price when we still had it. If you can't afford it, go to Payless. No we can't order it for you. Go home. No we won't check another store for it. It wastes ours and the other stores time. GO HOME! No we are not going to search the jungles of the 70% off racks to find it. DON'T WASTE MY TIME!

6. Don't waste my time.

You wouldn't ask a wedding caterer to make every single one of their signature dishes for you to sample, and then tell them you are just going to make Easy Mac for the wedding party. If your intentions are to try on every single boot, heel, dress shoe, slip on, sandal etc. and then shop at Payless, please.... DON'T WASTE MY TIME! I work on commission. I'd like to be able to afford my Easy Mac too.

7. If you don't have a job, you don't belong here.

If mom or dad didn't come with you with the cash/credit card please don't make us bring you all the sparkly, 4 inch heels we carry so you can fulfill your pretty princess dream. Again.... don't waste my time.

8. Trust that I know what I'm talking about.

If I measure your foot, I'm giving you an accurate size. I don't get some sick pleasure from telling you the wrong size. Do not insist on trying on 2 sizes smaller or larger. If I answer your question, don't ask me 3 more times and expect my answer to change. It won't.

9. If you don't know your size, please let me fit you.
I don't enjoy running to the back 4 times because you have an ego complex that convinces you that, as a man, you were a size 12 or, as a woman, you were a size 6. It's my job to fit you, not feed your ego.

10. No, I cannot make you a shoe in the back stockroom.

........ Really?........
I don't have little cobbler elves that make shoes in the back. If I don't have it. I don't have it.

11. We don't rent shoes.

We will not take shoes back because you needed them to impress the chicks/dudes at the club last night and now you don't need them. You wore them. They are yours. Not only is that rude but completely unsanitary. My customers don't want to share your foot flakes or toe goo. Thanks. Enjoy your new shoes.

12. If you want cash for your return, pay in cash.

We will not give you cash for something you got on credit. If you want cash pawn your wedding ring, donate blood, don't ruin my day.

13. We are not racist.

We help everyone equally. It doesn't matter what race, sexual orientation, or gender you are, your money means as much to us as the next. If you feel we didn't give you enough attention it's not because you are black, white, Hispanic, Asian, or green. Take a look around the department. If you see 15 other people and only three of us, we are busy, not racist. 

14. Yelling is not necessary.

Not only do I pace the floor regularly but you have legs too. How about you use them to take the 10 steps necessary to ask me for whatever it is you need instead of yelling across the floor at me. It's called manners. If I chose to yell back across the floor at you, you would complain to my manager because it's rude. So, how is it not rude when you do it?

15. Yes, I'm talking to you.

If I am looking you in the eyes and I ask you how your day is going, the acceptable responses would be, "Fine, thank you," "I'm doing well. How about you?" or even "Really shitty, thanks for asking."

Staring back at me like I have 3 heads is NOT an acceptable answer.

16. Be human.

Don't treat me like something you stepped in. You know nothing about me. Most of us have degrees, are working on degrees, or have other special certifications. This is just a temporary stop on the way to where we really want to be and yet we still show up day after day, smile and try to help you with whatever you need. Don't make the highlight of your day ruining mine because you think of me as just a lowly sales person. I'm human too. I have feelings and they don't like it when you step on them with your hoity toity attitude.

Thanks to all you awesome custys who make our days a little bit better and a BIG thanks to my fellow shoe associates who, day after day, endure the smell, attitudes and chaos that is a shoe department.

--Wingtip Workhorse