Retail Hell The Book

Management Rewards Nasty Ass Thief: Thank You For Stealing, Here's Your Refund

From Retail Hell Underground:

Hello all, after reading Angie’s story from furniture hell

I thought I’d share this story with you, as it left me wondering what it’d be like to work for a company who’d back us up when we enforce the refund policies they put in place.

A bit about me and my store, I work for a U.K based women’s budget clothing store, whose target market is the over 45’s. As for me, you can call me Nibbler.

I’ve been with the company for nearly two years now, having started on a 4 hour xmas temp contract, now I’m being trained to be a key holder. It’s a great place to work and my team are lovely, apart from our assistant manager, but that’s a rant for another day.

A couple of weeks ago, a custy came into the shop wanting a refund on a coat that still had the security ink tag on it, but no barcode tags. This coat was so new, we’d only received our stock of it on delivery the previous day, and put it on the shop floor that morning. Everything about it seemed suspicious and our first thought was “possible shoplifter”.

Our refund policy states: “Exchange/refunds are offered if items are returned within 28 days in their original condition, with all tags attached and with proof of purchase.  If a receipt is not available but tags are attached, we may offer a credit note/gift voucher to the current selling price, however this will be reviewed on an individual basis.”

So, I asked for her receipt. She didn’t have one. I asked if she used her club card so we could track the purchase down on Head Office’s computer system. She didn’t use her card that day, despite it being one of our 20% off club card days.

I asked her what branch she’d brought it in. She didn’t know. I then told her that under our returns policy, we couldn’t do anymore to help her.

After a few minutes of her ranting and raving at us, she demanded to speak to customer services, so I give them a call from the back office and explain the situation, and told that we thought she was a shoplifter.

Did that matter?

No. I was told to exchange it for a gift voucher.

That’s right folks, I had to reward a suspected NAT with store credit. The smugness of that woman while I was putting that exchange through was suffocating.  

It’s infuriating to me that we put so much effort into our stock loss procedures, but if we suspect that a customer is trying to return something that’s stolen, there’s no support from head office.

Why bother having refund policies if head office isn’t going to follow them?

*sigh*  

Keep your heads up, fellow slaves,

--Nibbler x

 

400 Pound shoplifter gets stuck in doorway at Meijer in Chicago

via Friendster - Jerrie Perkin's, 30, right, attempt to steal from a Meijer in Michigan was foiled when she got stuck in the doorway, police said.

The 400-pound Michigan woman was busted for shoplifting--and later hit with a Taser-- when her motorized cart got stuck in a supermarket's door, according to police.
 
Jerrie Perkins, 30, allegedly tried to steal more than $600 worth of electronic merchandise from a Meijer in Rochester Hills last week.
 
As she attempted to drive out of the supermarket in her cart, the door's alarm was activated. Perkins became hostile when Meijer employees approached her and asked for her receipt.
 
The 5-foot-2 woman shoved a loss-prevention officer and hit her in the face, the Oakland County sheriff's office told The Oakland Press.
 
When authorities asked her to put her hands behind her back, she cursed, according to a press release from the sheriff's department, "balled her right hand into a fist and took a fighting stance."
 
Twice Perkins was asked to put her hands behind her back before deputies zapped her with the Taser.
 
On her Friendster account, Perkins describes herself as a singer/songwriter/deejay with "a little extra weight."
 
She was released on $15,000 bail and charged with unarmed robbery, resisting and obstructing a police officer and second-degree retail fraud.

Police Photo

via www.nydailynews.com

 

Queer Geek's Race Card Playin' N.A.T.

Hello from the RHU! 

Queer Geek again with another group of crazy custy stories from the Big Fancy store!  It must have been a full moon out because the nutjobs came out of the woodwork in droves. 

I barely got to my department to clock in when who should show up? 

Miss Scary-On Pigs! 

Now if you read one of my previous posts about NATS (Nasty Ass Thieves) you'll remember her, she came in and gave me one of her junkie smiles as if I have to accept her questionable returns. With a bit of sigh, I took one look like at her pile of crap on the counter and immediately inhaled the familiar aroma of the druggie smell emitting from the all the clothes she was returning. (Oh fuck me!)

As I dug into her pile of used goods which torn tickets, no tickets at all, tickets not matching the item, merchandise so old that looked like they came from their great grandmother’s attic, to items so used to the point that it looks like pile of rags that I informed Miss Scary-On Pigs that I need to call a manager to approve this return. 

At this point, this crackheaded junkie got all paranoid.

“Why you’s needs ta call da manager?” asked Miss Scary-On Pigs. “Shet, them’s stuff gots all da tags! Just give me ma’ cash for dem!”

“I’m sorry mam but some of the merchandise is outdated that it has been discontinued with the company. Our system cannot recognize the merchandise any longer and since some time has past, the full value of your merchandise does decrease.  I really don’t know how much we’re going to give you for these items.” I explain this to her because quite frankly items do depreciate over time. However, Miss Scary-On Pigs does not comprehend this.

At this point her companion comes in. A woman who I wish to refer to as Wannabe. Let me describe Wannabe.  Remember Vanilla Ice and how he wished he was of a different race?  Well that is Wannabe.  Wannabe got the look down to a tee.  From the multicolored weave, hip hop speech, and Ghetto Press On Talons on her fingers she just might be one of those guests on Maury Povich and Jerry Springer.  Well Wannabe feels the need to defend her friend’s honor by putting her two cents.  (Fuck me twice here!)

“What’s da problem?” asked Wannabe. “She’s gots da tickets. I knows The Big Fancy policy that ya’ can return shet. No questions asked. Just gives her da money!” (Talk to the hand bitch cause the ears aren't listening.)

I politely tell Wannabe that The Big Fancy has no formal return policy so returns are done on a case to case basis but both women weren’t hearing it so luckily a manager on duty arrived on the scene to save me from these two who tells them exactly the same thing I just told them.

“I’m sorry but these items have been discontinued with the company so it no longer has any value to it. Plus you don’t have any proper proof of purchase,” the manager replied.

“What ya’ mean? Ya’ gots da’ tickets on right there!” Miss Scary-On Pigs points out. “Just gimme da cash!”

“I’m sorry Miss but again there is not any information here to process this return.  All the items here have been discontinued since it has been so many years since we've carried them so I can’t give you a fair price on these things. I would need a proper proof of purchase,” he tells them.

“This is bullshet!” Miss Scary-On Pigs.  “I knows ya’s policy.  Ya’s can return shet!  I paid cash for it.  Ya’s all are racist cuz I’m black!”

“That’s right,” interrupts Wannabe. “Ya’s are racist cuz we’s black!”

Now that is calling the kettle black coming from Wannabe who obviously who has watched to many Eminem videos. Luckily the manager has some quit wit and responds to the race card comment.

“Ma'am, don’t play race card with me,” he tells them. “It doesn’t work here. As you can see I’m a minority too so you can't use that on me but if you want me to take this stuff back all I can give you is the last price and right now we’re looking at a grand total of a whole dollar since each one is now worth a penny now. As for the policy, WE DON’T HAVE A WRITTEN POLICY so we can make it up as we go along.”

“THAT’S BULLSHET!” Miss Scary-On Pigs screeches. “YA’S RACIST! ALL YA’LL! NOBODY’S GONNA SHOP HERE NO MO’ AFTER I’S TELLS EVERYONE THIS STORE’S RACIST!”

My manager politely tells the customer to please leave to which Wannabe drags Miss Scary-On Pigs away but not before issuing a threat.

“I’S TELLS CORPORATE! YA’LL BE FIRED FO’ BEING RACIST!”

“That’s fine mam,” he tells her. “You have my name and business card. Tell them I sent you.”

I laugh at his statement but sadly it would be a matter of time before Miss Scary-On Pigs returns and starts this whole drama all over again. 

Sure enough, she came back the following month and some other manager took back her stuff at a reasonable discounted price. (Fuck me three times and sell my soul to Satan.) 

I hate NATS!

--Queer Geek

Most Awesome N.A.T. Sign Ever

  ...Oh we can dream, can't we?

 

Holiday Custys Putting On Their Ass Pants

From Chatty Cathy on Retail Hell Underground: 

Bitchy custys from Hell!

I want to say right now, I love my job. Most of the customers are very friendly, knowledgeable, and generally not ridiculous. However as the season wears on, more and more individuals seem to be putting on their crazy pants before going shopping for the holidays.

I actually have three stories... just from one day!

1. Make up your damned mind, PLEASE.

Two ladies come up to the register. One's buying some home appliance and one is buying a single shirt that costs maybe $15.

The appliance lady goes first and starts handing me coupons- in HER own order. Not the order the register wants them. She gives me a merchandise credit, which registers as payment, and then her 15% off coupon and store cash coupon, which must be applied before payment begins.

I explain this to her and void the sale, then go to do it again.

This time I get her rung up and she gives me all the coupons EXCEPT her 15% discount which she keeps clutched close to her chest as if she'd die without it. As a result I forget it. It's my fault, yadda yadda, I void it again and re-ring.

Now, we get to the point where we're adding coupons and I've got them all sorted- then the other lady says "WAIT WAIT. I just have one shirt, so can I add it to this order?"

Unlike a grocery store, our registers don't allow us to scan coupons, then items, then coupons again. I explain and she says "Well.. I want her coupons, so add my stuff."

I void the order AGAIN and re ring them AGAIN.

This time everything goes great, except that AFTER the custy duo has paid and I am already getting them their change, they go "WAIT WAIT WAIT- I ALSO HAVE 87 CENTS HANG ON" and I inform them that no, they cannot give me additional change just for the sake of getting a whole dollar back at this point because I have already told the register what they gave me and it would make my drawer be off.

She says "No, it wouldn't. It doesn't know how many 5's, 10's, and so on you have" and while she's probably right on that fact, I still say "Sorry, but I can't do it. I told the computer how much you gave me. If we change it after the fact the computer will say I should have a total that I don't, and I could get in trouble."

I give her her change and she huffs at me "I DON'T THINK YOU KNOW HOW THESE THINGS -WORK-!" and she runs off.

Honestly I could be wrong and I just don't care. I wanted them gone. Like fuck was I doing math on the fly after they already had spent nearly 15 minutes shitting up my register.

2. Lying Custys!

Our store focuses a lot on customer service. We're told to do whatever we can to keep people satisfied, so a lot of the time if someone claims that something should be a certain price, even if they're wrong, we have to give it to them anyways. People know this. People use it.

Two middle aged women come to my register.

They want separate orders, one's buying Keurig accessories and one's buying the actual coffee maker itself. I try to ring up the accessories gal first since she set her stuff down first and the items were smaller.

I ring it up and immediately she halts me and says "HEY! That's the wrong price. It should be $14.99 not $24.99."

I offer to have someone go check for her. She gets a bit fidgety and says "Well.. well... Why don't I just go get the sign for you?"

"No ma'am, We have people back there that can check the price, I just have to call them up."

I call, and we're waiting. It takes a while but I get a call back, the worker is foreign and it takes some explaining, which makes the custy's frustrated, but it gets done.

We wait, and wait... I get another call, she explains she was busy with a customer and just now is getting back to check. I say alright and pass this to the customers.

Suddenly the older of the pair, the one wanting to buy the thing in the first place, RUNS off. She apparently is sick of waiting and despite me telling her NO has gone to get the sign.

She comes back and WAVES it at me, covering half the sign.

All I say, very tiredly, is "Ma'am... How is the associate supposed to check the price if you've taken the sign up here?" and she shoots back "Well.. well there was only one of them there! One of them! She'd never have found it!" and she runs off again to put the sign back.

My coworker calls back and very exhaustedly says "I'm sorry, I can't find it. Please just give them the price they're asking for."

I tell her the reason she couldn't find it, and she sighs. We thank each other and hang up.

By this time, sign stealer is still off dicking with store signage and probably creating more trouble for us later on, so the other person just says "You know what, ring all my stuff up as well and I'll just pay for it. Besides- you saw the sign. It said $14.99. Right? You saw it."

I'm thinking to myself "Yeah, a $14.99 sign she could've grabbed for ANY item" but somehow I'm relieved, since one order means LESS TIME with this pair of thieving witches.

I ring it up and it gets paid for. Sign stealer comes back and seems absolutely giddy that I gave them what they wanted and extremely pleased, TOO pleased about the discount.

Fast forward to when I got home and actually saw our daily ad (that they don't leave out for us of course) I see the shit she was buying is on sale for TWENTY FOUR DOLLARS AND NINETY NINE CENTS.

All I said when I saw it was "Those lying BITCHES!" and then I had to explain the whole thing to my family.

Come on, people... they wasted 20 minutes of my time for ten dollars. I guess it matters, I mean I don't even make ten dollars in an hour, but they lied and got what they wanted- it's just teaching entitled custy's that they can do as they please and rip the store off left and right.

3. Stinky NATs!

Scruffy looking woman comes up to the counter. By scruffy I mean... well, maybe she hadn't bathed in a while. And by a while I mean a few weeks.

She's buying some shits, curiously all clearanced or on sale but still with security tags. The sizes seem arbitrary and she says they aren't gifts.

I mentally say "whatever" and just ring it up and do my job. She pays and leaves but beeps on the way out. Another cashier runs to check her bag, and I go up to her after the custy was cleared (and ran out the door) and say "I took a security tag off of every shirt she bought- what beeped?"

"Oh, I looked.. I didnt see tags, it must've been the perfume."

"...She didn't buy any perfume."

By this time she was long gone so of course it was too late to call loss protection but fuck I wonder how she did it.

She must have smuggled it on her person and put it in the bag after she left the counter, because if she'd put it on the counter the security device would've been deactivated.

I also wonder why that cashier didn't check her receipt since she would've clearly seen that the lady didn't pay for perfume.

Thinking of it, she had a hoodie on and probably stashed the stuff in the pockets before coming up to the registers then transferred it to the bag. I half wonder how much she made off with, since perfume can be damned expensive.

At least she'll have something to cover up her stench.

--Chatty Cathy

 

Old Slavery Hell: Entitled Bitches and Nasty Ass Theives

OH. MY. GAWD. FUCK.

This is T-Shirt Sponge, Old Slavery slave, wishing to share with you the CRAZIEST NIGHT I HAVE EVER HAD.

Apparently, brass testicles the size of beach balls grow on women now, and these monstro-women come to Old Slavery to harass the employees for kicks.

I was ringing up one nice young woman who, among other things, purchased a ring. Instead of putting it in her bag, she took it because she wanted to wear it. ALSO, instead of gently tearing the tag off, she grabbed the ring in one hand, the tag in the other, and pulled.

Naturally, it crumbled in her hand like a fucking Pop Tart. She looked like she was gonna cry.
I felt bad so I took the item back and returned it for her and gave her her money back, claiming 'defective item' and threw it in the damages bin. She complained that it was the last one we had and she would have to go spend time searching through all our rings for another one she liked.

Custy: "So...can I go get another ring?"

Me: "Well sure, but I'm afraid you'll have to stand in line again." (Keep in mind that she had no clue which one she wanted and sounded like she wanted to try every one on.)

Custy: *implodes*

She and her friend proceed to bitch me out about how 'it's her birthday' and why can't she just go grab another one. 

Now if they had originally wanted to just go grab one off the jewelry table, fine, but after bitching at me, no fucking way ladies, you can stand in line again.

"BUT ZOMG ITS MY BIRTHDAY!"

Look how much I care.

I thought that would be as eventful as my night got, but about 9:30, the only manager on duty, let's call her Stud, calls me to the front.

"There's three girls walking around with mesh bags full of stuff and they're gonna try to pull one over on us. Stay up here with me."

Apparently, three girls had been walking around filling three of our huge shopping bags full of as much stuff as they could, and just as Stud was telling me about all this, they snuck out of line and BOOKED IT for the fucking door.

Their bags were so heavy they were practically DRAGGING them and the door alarms were fucking screaming "HEY, SOMEONE IS STEALING YOUR SHIT!!!"

So Stud takes off after them and I take off after her, but they had.....a GETAWAY CAR. And a getaway DRIVER. This shit was PREMEDITATED. >.>

However, we got their license plate number, caught them on camera, and one of them dropped their cellphone.

Case closed, yes?

Nope. Cops came, said they can't do shit. Cuz.... I dunno.

Like what the fuck?

There's shoplifting and then there's blatant robbery.
 
Much love,

--T-shirt Sponge

 

Smosh Mess For Less Day of Hell: Wolfycat Assaulted By Custy Bitch

From Retail Hell Underground Smosh Mess For Less Wolfycat:

Here at Smosh, we have four managers.

Two of them are the coolest, awesomest, We-don't-take-no-shit Managers.

The other two are eeeeeevil Managers.

This week has just made me go "D'oh!"

I was in fitting room again, and earlier that day, a Business Lady had come in to shop on her lunch break.

She left two pantsuits on hold with me and firmly assured me that she was coming back after six to get them.

I would still be working then, so I put her info and the date on the slip, stuck it to her stuff, and hung it on the end of the rack by the wall where I couldn't lose it.

Wrong.

6:30PM rolls around and Business Lady is there to pick up her stuff.

I hop over to the spot on the rack by the wall and the two pantsuits are gone! I rummaged through the rest of the rack.

Nada. I'm wondering, did some other business attire wearing custy swipe them when I had my back turned?

Then I notice a bunch of other holds I had done earlier are also missing. I check, and they're not on my sorting racks, either.

I called up the manager's office where Barbs was. I asked if she had maybe checked up on fitting rooms earlier.

Barbs: Oh, yeah. A bunch of those holds had the wrong date. You aren't supposed to mark it as tomorrow. It's against policy.

Me:...Huh??

Barbs: *huge sigh* Today is the 11th. Marking it for the 12th is not allowed. You should know that.

Me: Barbs...today is Tuesday...the 12th.

Barbs: *another sigh* Today is the 11th. I am not going to argue with you.

Me: *pulls out cell, checks calendar, notes the big honking 12 indicated as TODAY*

By this time, Nice Manager #1 by the name of Cam walks by. I ask him today's date and he says "'Tis the twelfth day in the month of October" (no kidding, that actually happened).

Me: *on the phone* As today is indeed the 12th, there is a lady waiting here who had put on hold two pantsuits earlier today and is here to pick them up.

Barbs: *yet another sigh* What do you want me to do?

Me: Well, can you tell me what you did with all those holds?

Barbs: I put them back on the floor.

*cue agonized look on my face*

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU--!!!!

I turned to Business Lady and apologized. "I'm sorry, ma'am, there was a mistake and someone put your items back on the floor. I can get someone to help you find them again if you want."

"WHAT??? When I put something on hold here, I expect it to be HERE when I come back! Is that too much to ask for?!"

Great. Yes, yell at me because that feels aaaaawesome.

Cam picks up on what happened and offers to go fetch the items, assuming Barbs put them in the right section.

5 minutes later, he comes back with items in hand. Business Lady leaves. All is good for the moment. Then he goes to the phone and dials the office. Barbs answers with a huge sigh, and then he picks up the receiver. His side of the conversation went like:

Cam: Hey, what's up?...Is anything wrong?...What was wrong with the holds in fitting rooms?...Naw, it's the 12th!...Yeah!...No, I'm not kidding, I had to chase down pantsuits!

He hangs up shaking his head. "She's been on the computer for most of the day. she seriously didn't know what day it was."

And then later on as I'm about to clock out, Bob blocks me from getting to the computer and plays a game of 20 questions.

Bob: Haven't you already taken a lunch today?

Me: Yes, but I'm clocking out now.

Bob: You know you don't clock out for a break?

Me: I'm going home. (thinking: "can't you see my purse and lunchbox?")

Bob: No you aren't, you're closing today.

Me: Umm....no. I've been here since 10. I have a test to study for tomorrow.

Bob: We really need someone to help close tonight.

Me: I am going to clock out now.

Bob: Have you done your sizing area?

Me: *about to bite*

Supervisor: BOB! Really, dude, move. She's going home.

I've had enough, so I just went to an empty register and clocked out there. HASTA LA VISTA, BEBEH!

And then on Thursday, I was picked to tidy up women's shoes because bitches just decided throwing them at the floor, stuffing their diseased feet into them, and then kicking them under the shelves was SO ABSOLUTELY BRILLIANT.

Then, as I'm tidying up sizes 9-12 (seriously, EVERYTHING WAS ON THE FLOOR), I hear giggly teens in the size 7 aisle chanting the word PENIS. Like, four girls were taking turns saying it, building up the volume a bit more each time. I make my way to that aisle just as the purple-haired chick all out bellows "PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNIIIIIIIIISSSSSS!!!"

"HEY!" I scolded. "Watch your language--" ZOOOM. Those girls couldn't have high-tailed it out of there fast enough. Pretty much everyone at the registers had heard and glared at them as they left.

Then today (Friday), Everyone was completely insane.

This one lady came up to me and yelled: "YOU MAKE A CRAPPY JOB AT MAKING CLOTHES! THIS THREAD COUNT IS SHITTY!"

I don't make the clothes, I just sell them.

"THEN TELL WHOEVER MADE THIS SHIT TO QUIT THEIR DAY JOB!!!"

You want me to tell Calvin Klein to quit his day job?? OK, but he's not gonna be too happy...

Then there was Psycho Rage Bitch who came in about a half hour before closing.

She had loaded her cart with a couple heavy boxes of dishes and silverware and a bunch of other random shit. I was finishing up sizing Dress World.

I was huddled right up to the rack so that people could pass me with plenty of room. I then had to get to the next aisle, so I peeked around the corner.

Everything was clear. PRB had her cart there and was looking at shirts, so I stepped out and WHAM!

All of a sudden PRB is trying to force her cart into my ribs. One of the wheels jumps up on my foot.

PRB: *raging* Watch where you're going!

Me: OWOWOWOW! Holyshitgetyourfuckingcartoffme!

PRB: *super raging* WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?!

I pushed her cart forcibly away from me, but she was pushing back and my foot was still trapped.

PRB looked like she was possessed or something and she could jump over the cart and bite my face off.

I grab hold of the cart and lift it off of my foot.

I back up and she makes like a ram and pushes her cart into my hip.

At this point, I completely lose it. I grab the end of the cart, yank it away from her, and push it off down the center aisle.

Me: What the fuck is your problem?!

PRB: You can't talk to me like that!

Me: The hell I can when you try to run me down on purpose!

At this point Race (LP guy) races up and gets between us.

"You need to leave." he says to PRB.

"I WANT TO TALK TO YOUR MANAGER!" PRB yells.

Cam jogs up to us from the back.

"You assaulted an employee. Either leave now or I can call you a police escort."

Bitch walked out bitching about how our store sucks and whatnot.

I now have a swollen and bruised foot, and my hip looks like I really enjoy BDSM.

My boyfriend didn't believe me when I told him about my day and I don't blame him.

I never want to do that again.

--Wolfycat

Return Hell At The Mart

From Liŋuist on Retail Hell Underground:

So today I had a lovely time with a wonderfully understanding and gracious customer.

Heh. I wish.

So I've worked at my job at a major one-stop-shop retailer for about six months now. I recently got a promotion to Front End Supervisor (which basically means I handle returns and supervise all the cashiers) and since this promotion is REALLY new, I've been on edge trying not to mess up / rely on management too much. I've been doing well so far, so I just knew something had to come along and ruin my day.

A lady walked in today with an unopened air mattress to return.

I greet her and ask her how I can help her, to which I am given:

"You kin gimme a sto' credit, tha's wha choo kin do."

"I'll do my best, ma'am. Do you have your receipt with you?"

"Why you think I ask fo' a sto' credit?! Course I ain't got no damn receipt!"

Lovely. I stay calm and try to see how I can get around this.

"Well, how did you pay for it? If you used a credit or debit card I can pull the sale record up from there for you."

"It was a mutha fuckin gift! Why the hell you think I ain't go no receipt?!"

Great. So no receipt and no sale record.

Now, company policy is very strict when it comes to air mattresses. None of the opened ones can be returned or exchanged for any reason other than defects.

I know her box is unopened, but I also know how closely watched these mattresses are. Not something I'm willing to get in trouble for.

Now, if she had bought some brand that is sold only at my store, I could help her. But this was a popular brand and I had no way to know that she didn't buy the damn thing at Wal-fart and bring it here because ours were more expensive.

So I do literally all I can do: brace for impact.

"I'm sorry ma'am. Without a way to track the sale, I'm afraid there's nothing I can do for you."

"What?! Why da hell not?! It's not like I want money, I jus want a sto' credit!"

"I'm sorry ma'am, I can't do anything for you without a receipt."

Well, she screams and hollers for a while and I don't budge. After about 15 minutes, my store manager calls me and tells me to do what I need to to shut her up because she's sick of listening to her from across the store.

I inform the lady that my manager has agreed to do a no-receipt return, which means we will take the item back and give her a credit, but she will only get credited the lowest sale price in the past 90 days.

She was INFURIATED stating she paid full price and this is racist, and I'm just being a a stuck up bitch. I tell her that's the best we can do for her and she can either accept it or decline it. There is no negotiating, the offer is what it is.

After another ten minutes of bitching and whining from her, she finally takes it while making it clear that I'm terrible at my job and at life and I shouldn't be given a job I'm too stupid to do.

I almost lost it here.

I go to a major university where I'm a triple major (German, Linguistics, and Mandarin). I work my ass off to keep a 4.0 to keep my scholarships. I commute an hour to class five days a week at 6 am and then haul ass to get back home to go to work for 9 hours. I am NOT stupid. I'm trilingual and only ONE language was a native language. I seriously almost flipped off the handle here.

Much to my surprise, I kept it together and finished her sale. She left with her gift card and walked off, I prayed to Buddha, Allah, FSM and anything else that she was gone for good.

Nope.

Ten minutes later she returns to my counter (because she didn't want to wait in line behind ONE PERSON) and told me I need to check her out this instant or she'll have my job (and notes that I'm lucky she hasn't already had me fired because she "kin SOOOooooOOOO do dat wif just one quick convolation [sic] wif da managa."

I sigh and attend to her. I ring her through, and go to hand her her receipt.

"I don't want dat shit!" she yells at me as she walks out without it.

I just can't help but stand there for a minute, dumbfounded that she hasn't learned anything from our 30 minute ordeal.

Just another day at the Mart, I suppose.

--Liŋuist

 

Kerry's Fitting Room Nightmare Part 16: Annoying Nasty Ass Thieves

So the January thieves are out in full force and they hit Kerry's fitting room the other day.

Apparently this one was interested in some Standard Queen pillow cases and socks! Which they probably had to shove up their ass in order to get out of the store unnoticed.

Like all of us Retail Slaves, having to deal with Nasty Ass Thieves has become a part of our job description. And Kerry has had her endless share.

Here's is fun N.A.T. story from Kerry that happened a few months ago:

So today, I worked.

But today, I actually did not loathe working.

Why is that?

Funny you should ask...

I was folding a table of denim when I see and hear LP stop a young woman at the door and tell her to follow him back to the office.

I immediately knew it was because she was a Nasty Ass Thief.

At first she refused, and acted like she did nothing wrong, but then complied. I laughed to myself because she deserved it, of course.

No more than two minutes later, I heard the sound of running high heels back to the entrance, and instantly knew who it was.

Yep, the Nasty Ass Thief!

She was trying to make a break for it!

She ran out into the parking lot, quickly followed by the much faster and bigger LP guys.

They caught her at her car, and even at this point she was still fighting with them to get away!

My department is next to the entrance, so I had a nice clear view of the scene.

They grabbed her keys from her, and began trying to grab at her keys.

So the LP guys ended up making a game out of it and played Monkey in the Middle with her keys, tossing them back and forth, driving her nuts.

All the way through the parking lot and back to the store she was jumping around like a strung out ape trying to get the last banana on the planet.

They teased her back inside, where the cops were called and she was arrested.

It absolutely made my day.

I wish thieves acted like this every day, just so LP could mess with them even more, hahahaha.

Kerry