Retail Hell The Book

Breakroom Hell

Where are the paintball guns when you need them?

Sent in from a Kohl's Slave whose identity shall remain protected by RHU's Secret Retail Slave Wittness Program.

10 Ways To Make Retail Hell Borderline Fun

From Retail Hell Underground Blogger, Depot Demon:

1. While throwing out trash, pretend that you are a secret agent destroying evidence (more effective if you hum the "mission impossible" theme)

2. Throughout the day, speak in different accents whenever you can get away with it

3. If you get "work lists", pretend that each task is a quest, and by completing a task, you are X% done with the game

4. If you get injured, don't say you're getting a band aid, say you're going to the healer.

5. Slink about the aisles pretending you are a ninja and are looking for your target.

6. Imagine what would happen if you turned your store into a paint ball field.

7. When asked where something is tell them its 2 aisles further than where it actually is. (Not to be done near management)

8. Work on your juggling skills with whatever stock you can get away with dropping.

9. Make up stuff about a product and see if a customer catches on (for example; 'yes this product is microwaveable and can withstand a zombie attack)

10. Stalk a person around the store, and do your damnedest to not get caught.

*Bonus for the ones who cashier:

Give customers the smallest bills possible, especially if they pay in change (I don't cashier so I have no idea what its like on the front end, but I sympathize)

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Of course, I don't want anyone to get fired, because we all know as much as we hate the Hell, we need the money.

However the stalking of the customer could be looked at  as "ensuring that the crustomer receives excellent customer service" (I almost gagged while typing that) and could get you a raise...Amy ways, hope this helps even a little bit.

Love,
DepotDemon

Booth Moore's Retail Hell Q & A

Last week I had the pleasure of being interviewed by the LA Times Fashion Critic, Booth Moore!

She had fantastic questions. We talked about types of shoppers, whether or not I lied as a salesperson, what my top sales pitches were, and many other retailicious subjects!

I also reveal some great Insider Shopping Tips.

You can read the interview on Booth's All The Rage blog at the LA Times website by clicking HERE.

Store Cards

We Retail Slaves hate asking custys to open credit cards even more than custys hate being asked! Retail Hell Underground Blogger and designer of Retail Zombie Dolls, Spritzy has made her first video on the subject, offering some hilarious advice on how to approach custys on those heinous Store Cards. 

Retail Hell Remnants

 

A rare look into behind-the-counter Retail Hell. Compliments of a dumbass store planner. This view is from the store's front windows facing the mall.WTF?